My OCD Brain & A Wet Pussy For Aesthetically Pleasing Content

Spiritual Journey Of A Slut
Sep 2, 2021
7 min read

Updated: Sep 25, 2021

My OCD Brain & A Wet Pussy For Aesthetically Pleasing Content

So, I’m about to copy & paste something I just typed up and posted on my OnlyFans.

It sparked some interesting things to consider about being a content creator, what it entails, how an obsessive compulsive mind works, and my tips for aesthetically pleasing content that is highly driven from that obsessive compulsive brain

Here is the post…

Not Sexy Me Below

For the subs that haven’t went back on my old posts yet… ^ that’s the warning I give at the beginning of what will likely be a very long post about NOT orgasms, my pussy, fucking someone (haha jk I’m picky as fuck to my detriment I don’t fuck many people because I usually need to be emotionally invested in them first SMH.)

I’m not picky as in: only fucks 10/10 near perfect goal oriented dudes with lots of unconditional love, money, and dick to give…

I’m picky as in: must be toxic, really funny, fun, vulgar, a freak who’s down with whatever with A1 dick, acts like they are uninterested in me but also obsessed with me too, sells/does dope or some other similar illegal activity so that they don’t judge me for my substance abuse problem and they can relate to the struggle, childhood trauma so they can relate to me in that way as well, the right level of fucked up in the head, you get the picture…

Ideally, I want them to be so in love with me that they let me fix them and turn them into a newly spiritual sexy mf that still has the same, even better actually, A1 dick and the same sense of humor. Just a good ol’ guy now who is wise beyond his years for all he has been through.

However, this post is about the normal, every day, other shit that goes on besides that stuff. You’ve been warned lol

My artistically inclined subscribers:

Should I use this as my new watermark? Lol I’m indecisive and I don’t have anyone to ask this kinda stuff to so maybe I have some horny crafty mfs on here. 😈

This photo sparked this entire post because I’m trying to come to a “spiritual slut” aesthetic for my blog, I’m going to put that photo on a post where I’m writing about my new dream log that I started to help myself get back on the spiritual path/journey I was on…

and complained about…

and was just thrown the fuck off,

abruptly….

now I miss it lol so oops. My bad. Won’t complain again. 😶

It’s like when you wanna get back with an ex. This bitch will do the most to get an ex back that I miss if I think it’s smart to do so… or even if it’s not smart to do so… this is no different. But anyways, that’s besides the point.

I’m high if you can’t tell and I’m also manic so this is what you get during those times, refer to older posts to confirm. There’s plenty of them lol.

So… the main point of my post

I’m all about the aesthetics of everything of my entire life really: every project, job, assignment, school binder, my clothes, my room, every apartment, every car, etc. plus I shove my aesthetic ideas for others down their throats without even realizing that it’s none of my concern and they prob don’t want to decorate with my aesthetic. But whatever. Lol

Everything has a cohesive vibe and that vibe is ever changing so it’s a lot to keep up with lol sometimes I’ll land on something that just STICKS which is what I’m trying to find for this “pussy-online-for-the-world-to-see” version of me

Just in case anyone wants to also get weird online here’s some

✨ Aesthetic Tips ✨

that I’ve learned along the way

If I had to do this all over again I would have:

1) bought picsart gold first fuckin thing. best $65 dollars I ever spent to please my OCD brain. I don’t care if I was broke with $0 I’d do some questionable things for the money to buy picsart gold lol jk but for real.

2) spent however long I needed and done whatever research and comparing and trying and looking at examples and whatever I needed to do to come up with my aesthetic that would stick for the long haul. This would have prob required a lot of time because at the beginning I had not yet figured out my exact pussy online self yet but I’m sure I could’ve gotten somewhere reasonable at least

3) used the exact same filter on all photos/videos with the exact same watermark (and same size) on all of them, too

4) edited every video 16:9 shape and every photo in a square and/or 16:9 (square looks good on every platform esp IG and Twitter and even on here for photos and then 16:9 size is just kinda more “raw” looking PLUS on pornhub it looks best using 16:9 videos and the uploaded cover photos have to be 16:9 shape if you want to upload your own cover photo…. Most of my phone storage is taken up by duplicates of the same shit just different sizes or diff watermark or wtf ever. I could have saved so much time & space having all that decided from the beginning

5) taken my videos with my phone turned sideways and in the same place in my sex room with the same or similar vibe background with the same lighting to reduce the amount of editing I’ve had to do to the background esp if it had like personal shit in it or drugs or what the fuck ever lol I’ve edited out some serious amounts of dope and paraphernalia over the course of my pussy online. I know that would get kinda boring so I’d still do other shit but OVERALL I’d do the “same old same old” set up just for the ~vibe~ ya know lol don’t judge my lil about-to-be spiritual-again ass

6) I would have decided my exact “formula” for what to upload, where, and when, and how, and why, and all that shit.

Furthermore, I’d make a schedule and stick to it with my fucked-up-self-sabotaging-procrastinating-until-I-just-don’t-even-do-the-task ass. I’ve cried some serious tears just because of the lack of structure I’ve found myself in the depths of.

however, this free bird vibe I am now a days is very refreshing because I’ve made lists about the lists about my lists to get myself through life up until the last year and a half or so. I still make lists… but I just don’t complete anything on them anymore lol idfk.

7) to add to the last point and what I mean by what to upload and when and where and why…

so in my personal opinion…

I think people for the most part would only wanna subscribe to my OnlyFans if I promo it as having everything on it (which it does, by far) that can’t be seen anywhere else hence the price per month. In order to promo myself, I post nude / videos / etc and shit elsewhere like Reddit and Twitter and PornHub because I feel like you kinda HAVE to because why would anyone sub somewhere with their actual hard earned dollars and hard dick plus know what the fuck I’m even about if I posted all edited and censored stuff to promo with or just PG-13 shit?

Eh not likely a winning strategy IMO.

So, I post just a little “sample” of what is on here [OnlyFans]. My OCD brain could scream because it currently has no rhyme or reason as to what I pick for promo and then what I don’t. For videos, I shorten them way down to 1 minute for Reddit, I have a little bit longer videos on PornHub, and then everything in its’ full original length on here.

Plus there’s a lot of content that I’ve posted on here [OnlyFans] that I just don’t even promo with at all to keep it as something different and worth the monthly price. But, there’s still no rhyme or reason for how I shorten what videos I do use elsewhere.

If I could just have 3 wishes on this earth and a genie… I’d use 1 whole wish on an exact formula based on scientific research for pussy-online-money-earning best promo practices and a beautifully planned and well thought out schedule hand delivered to my door.

I’m down with the get down on doing the work it takes but the mental suffering from the “why and how and when and where” answers to this promo business is for the non OCD birds. I’ve yet to come to a best-practice that makes good sense and keeps everyone happy and alive. Lol.

Shew… just in case you weren’t aware of how the obsessive compulsive mind works… here ya go. 😜 it’s very exhausting, life changing, and mainly it’s all-time consuming.

It’s ALL my days consist of sometimes… obsessive thoughts and behaviors;

while I’m obsessing, I’ll oftentimes mindlessly pick at my skin or whatever else is around I can pick at like tape, or bite my nails, or scratch at my scalp, or chain smoke cigarettes without ever even realizing any of it until after the fact.

A lot of ruminating/thinking my thoughts can possibly change the circumstances if I just think them enough, wondering, planning, re-planning, list-making, worrying, avoiding, self sabotaging, occasional crying, re-doing and re-doing something that is already FINE as it is, and then saying fuck it and getting high because literally why WOULDN’T you do something to stop all that insanity provoking shit? For real.

Being a perfectionist seems great from the outside looking in... but you don’t realize the silent torture going on inside their mind at all waking hours every single day. This isn’t something that only happens at times of stress. This is an every day struggle that works on a spectrum of 1-10. My own unique experience is that a 1 might be the rare day that everything seems to be going smoothly, I have a feeling of accomplishment for getting recent list items marked off the to-do-list and now maybe I can relax and my mind could chill…. thats never what happens. It will not accept that and will begin to create new things to add to the never ending to-do list.

10 is insanity. I’m rarely a 1.. maybe 5% of my life has been a 1. I’ve been a 10 much more often.

Thanks for coming to my “this is what I’m doing when it appears like I’m not doing anything because GASP sex workers MUST have it so easy THEY BARELY DO ANY WORK and make so much money, gag cough cough bullshit, I’m poor and mentally exhausted to the point of insanity cough cough” 😑 OCD edition Ted Talk.